Könyvmolyképző

Alkonyőrzők – romantika a jövő díszletein (kritika)


A Könyvmolyképző Kiadó negyedik Aranymosás-pályázatának győztese, Bartos Zsuzsa Alkonyőrzők című regénye. A címet nem tudtam kapcsolni a történethez, csak nagyon áttételes, metaforikus módon, ám a szó szokatlan, és figyelemfelkeltő. A könyv kétféle borítóval jelent meg, a sötétebb sci-fisebb, de jóval kevésbé illik a történethez.

A jó sci-fi aktuális problémákkal foglalkozik, ez a zsáner egyik erőssége. Az a tendencia, hogy lassan a valóságban is megszabható a gyerek neme, szemszíne, arról nem is beszélve, hogy már a kezdet kezdetén kiküszöbölhetőek a genetikai rendellenességek, betegségekre való hajlamok. Innen csak egy lépés, hogy rendelésre, mesterséges módon létrehozott utódok legyenek családok és gyerekek helyett.

Bartos Zsuzsa Alkonyőrzők című regénye a 22. századra ilyen jövőt vizionál: a nők képtelenek a teherbeesésre és a gyerekszülésre, az anya/apa/testvér szavak teljesen kiüresednek. A kevés maradék „közönséges” (vagyis nem génkezelt, növesztett) ember egyre inkább a háttérbe szorul, hiszen nem versenyezhetnek a tervezettekkel sem képességekben, sem lehetőségekben, sem másban. Ilyen körülmények között a társadalom is másként épül fel, a kifordított helyzetben virágzik a nőkultusz és nőgyűlölet egyaránt.

A regény megteremt egy olyan világot, amelyben rengeteg potenciál és aktualitás lehetne, de aztán belehelyez egy sablonos történetet, amely a családról/vér szerinti kapcsolatról és a szerelem erejéről akar szólni. Adott egy még anyától és apától született, “közönséges” lány, akit elrabolnak, az ő megtalálása, megmentése a cselekmény központi szála. Az első harminc oldal a nevekkel és frakciókkal kicsit zavaros, de annyi kiderül, hogy Deirát sokféle párt szívesen megszerezné, hogy felhasználja a céljaira, a konzervatívok számára egy jelkép, akit egy hárembe vinnének; az ádámisták szexuális tárgyként használnák, hátha nem meddő; a nőkultuszt erőltető emírség sejknője számára pedig egy megmentendő lelket jelentene, akit férfigyűlöletre nevelhet. A Londonban, Fujairahban, Isztambulban induló cselekmény szálai aztán a vadon Kárpátkanyarba vezetnek. A hátlapszövegen is beharangozott kaland, a hajsza a gyerekekért, meg az életveszély egy több országon átívelő, thrillerszerű történet lehetőségét hordozza, ahol a kislányt kereső emberek egymással versenyeznek, és az olvasó elgondolkozhat, hogy amikor egyik végkifejlet sem jó (akárkinek a kezébe kerül, csak egy közönséges, gyengébb képességű gyerek lesz, akire borús jövő vár), ki melyiket tartja elfogadhatónak.

Csakhogy a cselekmény megtörik, amikor a szereplők a regény felénél beszorulnak egy tanyára, és a könyv végéig ott maradnak. Már maga a helyzet is kidolgozatlan, nincs felépítve, hogy mégis mi kényszeríti a szereplőket arra, hogy ne tegyenek semmit az ég egy adta világon, csak várjanak. (Bunuel Andalúziai kutyájában senkit sem érdekel, hogy miért nem tudnak kimenni a templomból, de a film működik, mert minden más nagyon fel van építve). A hangsúly áthelyeződik az emberi kapcsolatokra, különösen a szerelemre, amely lehetne egy kifejezetten női közönséget megcélzó regény témája, de sehogy sem passzol a kötet első feléhez. A befejezésről spoiler-veszély mellett nem lehet írni, de a megoldás nem oldja fel ezt az ellentmondást.

A szereplők várnak és beszélgetnek majd százötven oldalon keresztül. Kamaradrámaként cselekmény helyett remek párbeszédekkel, hiteles karakterekkel és hibátlanul felépített konfliktusokkal (a konfliktusok magvai megvannak) ez az érdeklődés fenntartására alkalmas lenne, de az Alkonyőrzők karakterei kidolgozottságukban erre nem alkalmasak. A három (és fél) főszereplő egyike sem. Zóra egy tervezett utód, ám selejtes: a kelleténél sokkal gyorsabban öregszik, ezért arra gyűjt, hogy az örök élet egy formáját megszerezhesse magának. Valami technikai eszközzel képes elfoglalni Nóra testét, aki voltaképpen önmaga 2.0-ás változata. Az egyetlen férfi főszereplő, Tarik, Zórának és Nórának a “bátyja”. Ugyanaz az apjuk, de a férfi természetes úton született, és gyűjtője, rajongója mindennek, ami még “közönséges”. Az egyébként is kissé szappanoperába illő helyzetet fokozza, hogy Tarik és Zora amíg egy családban éltek, egymásba szerettek, de a testvérszerelem nem végződhetett jól, és ezen egyikük sem tudta, tudja túltenni magát. Egyébként voltaképp érdekes kérdés lenne, hogy ebben az esetben ez egyáltalán erkölcsileg megkérdőjelezhető kapcsolat-e, disznófarkú gyerekük biztos nem fog születni…

A harmadik főszereplő, Ardan, szintén egy természetes úton született, közönséges férfi, aki afféle férfi-prostituáltként dolgozik egy bárban, hogy kielégítse a nők egzotikum iránti vonzódását, és az ő lánya Deira.

A három szereplőnek teljesen emberi és hiteles motivációi vannak: apai szeretet, szerelem-bosszú, élni akarás, megfelelés a családnak, de felületesen vannak ábrázolva. Ardanon keresztül nem sikerült megragadni az apaságot; Tarik egy konzervatív család lázadó fia, aki a szeretett nőért bezzeg nem tudott fellázadni, és egy arrogáns ficsúr lett. Zóra karakter irritálóan ostoba, ez alatt most nem is csak az IQ-t, hanem az érzelmi intelligenciát értve. Ilyen szereplők között nem lehet olyan kapcsolati rendszert, okos, metsző párbeszédeket, feszültségeket és változó egyensúlyi helyzeteket teremteni, hogy ellensúlyozzák az érdemleges események hiányát.

Az Alkonyőrzők második fele a romantikus regény zsánerének jellegzetességeit mutatja. A regény stílusa igazodik ahhoz, hogy üldözés helyett a szerelemről szóló részek a hangsúlyosak, és ehhez illő kissé érzelmes, patetikus hangnem uralkodik el egyes jeleneteken. Ez egy szerelmesregényben nem szokatlan, vagy bántó, de a szövegminőség hagy maga után kívánnivalót. Az érezhető szándék az érzékletes megfogalmazásra a kelleténél többször eredményezett egyeztetési gondot, képzavaros mondatot (Zóra szívverése a gyorsulás és a kihagyás között vergődött), amelyekre egy szerkesztőnek rá kellett volna mutatnia, mert rontja az olvasás élményét.

Összességében az Alkonyőrzők inkább szerelmes regénynek tűnik, mint sci-finek, ezért ha az egyszeri olvasó egy érdekes jövőbeli társadalmi helyzetet leíró, thrillerszerű sci-fit várt, akkor a benyomás vegyes, még ha egyes részletek kifejezetten ötletesek is.

Világ 90%
Cselekmény 75%
Karakterek 65%
Stílus, nyelv 60%
Final Thoughts

Sci-fi köntösbe öltöztetett szerelmesregény.

Overall Score 72%
Readers Rating
0 votes
0

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